THE LOAD MOUTH
Every so often you will run into a jerk at the crap table that just won’t keep his mouth shut or has his hands dangling over the rail.
He’s got to say something stupid about every shooter and has no patience what so ever.
My last trip to Vegas, I had the displeasure of playing next to the most obnoxious, rude, loud mouth, S.O.B. that ever picked up a pair of dice. It was the closest I have ever come to going on tilt and telling the creep to take a flying leap on a pogo stick. This guy was a total nuisance with a capital “N”. He fancied himself as a whale and was signing casino credit slips like there was no tomorrow.
I found out the hard way, why my preferred position was open at a full table. If the dice were not just a couple shooters away, I would have pulled an Irish and disappeared like the players before me, that didn’t want to put up with his flack.
It was the last night of my Vegas stay and I wanted some action, not a consternation with a sorry mess of human flesh that flunked “public manners 101”, four or five times. This guy was bum rapping every shooter on every toss. The table was ice cold. It was probably do to the negative vibes this jerk was spreading around the table. He was especially nasty to the dice setters. Everybody was setting the dice in some manner like they always do and he kept up venting his anger on each shooter as they seven-out. He kept saying, “Can’t anyone shoot the dice around here?” He was directing all his remarks at me because the guy on the other side of him kept turning his back to him.
Against my better judgment, I decide to say something to him when he criticized a decent dice setter with a good toss. He said it loud enough for the shooter to hear. He said, “Hey, why don’t you just throw the dice instead of fiddling around with them? You guys make me sick and waste more time and what good does it do you?” That’s when I jumped in and said, “I’d be careful what I say if I were you, that guy had a one hour run last night.” He come right back with, “I wasn’t there last night and it didn’t do me any good. If he’s so good, why can’t he do it now? “I said you are absolutely right, why don’t you try another table.
It was his turn to shoot and he quickly fired the dice about three feet over the stick guys head. They landed a foot short of the back wall, a pair of two’s. I said, “Hey J- - -, (box person) that was a no roll, wasn’t it?” The box tells the jerk to hit the back wall and I thought he was going to explode. Instead he says, yah, yah, I know. His next toss was another ridiculously high toss and came up short again but it was a seven and out. I said, “Gee you’re no better than the rest of us”.
I was in no mood to throw the dice, but it was my turn. I set for the C&E and bet $6 on it. Threw a 12. Pressed up to $12 and threw a 3. My third toss was a 5 and then I seven-out. The jerk says that figures. I said I won $24, how much did you win? He said,”Shit”.
I colored up and was leaving when the stick says, “Where you going, Charlie?” I said, “I’m going to get some fresh air. Somebody is stinking up this table.”
HANDLING A RAIL BIRD
What about the guy that always has his hands hanging over the table down at the other end? Several players prior to my receiving the dice had their tosses deflected by this moron which resulted in seven-outs.
By the time I got the dice, things were getting pretty testy. My come-out toss just missed his hand and resulted in three, craps, and still no warning from the stick or box. My second toss just missed his hand again and was good for a point of six. I set for my next toss and noticed both his hands were hanging over the chip rail. Guys were yelling hands up, but this retard was in another world.
I said what the hell! Its time to waste a pitch! I threw a rising fast ball that hit him on the knuckles of his hand. He put his hand up to his mouth as if he was licking his wound. Everybody at the table started clapping.
Hold on! That’s not the end of it. After hitting his hand, up jumped a hard six, making my point. After setting the dice for my next toss, I looked at the guy and said, "Would you mind putting your hands out there again so I can throw another hard six." We had no trouble with him after that.
Charlie009
Copyright 2008
